Liar
by madxflower
Summary: The enemy is much ignored when we fight this inner civil war. Add-on to Iridescent.
1. Chapter 1

Dear Diary,

We're all such liars, aren't we? Nothing I do makes me feel any better, and I'm not quite sure I even can feel better. It's like I can't even think of something without making it lead back to these scars on my wrist. I know I should stop. I know Sasuke, Naruto, and even Kakashi-sensei would want me to, but it helps. I'm pathetic, aren't I? If I was better, I could do this. My team would be proud of me if I was better. I need to tell someone. Anyone.

No, not anyone. I take that back. I want Naruto and Sasuke to know. They need to know, dont they? They would care about me. Someone needs to care, even if this bullshit father of mine won't. I'll never respect him. Hell, he can go die. I refuse to let him get the best of me.

This man has ruined my life. I'm not going to let him take my happiness. You want me to kill myself, Daddy? Huh? Just watch it happen. I'll be blaming you in my suicide note, bastard.

Suicide would make suspician though. And, of course, no one can know my father's crazy. I don't even know why. Thats just what mother says. I love her with all my heart, I really do, but sometimes, I can't take what she says.

_"You're my reason for marrying your father."_

She says it so nicely you'd think it's a compliment, but its not. He only weighs her down, and everytime I hear that, I just feel guilty. It's not my fault I was born. I didn't ask for this life. I didn't ask for these scars.

* * *

><p>Dear Diary,<p>

I told Naruto and Sasuke. They were shocked to say the least, but I feel better. That's what this was about, right? Making me feel better? Sasuke saw the heart on my wrist from when he called me worthless when we were younger. Is it bad that I love it? I love having Sasuke-kun look at me like I'm fragile. I love to be loved like this, even if its just his pity. I don't know how much longer I can stand to be around him without saying "I love you". It hurts my heart when I'm not by him, though. In the end, I choose to be with him. Not that he'd take me, but I'll be living there for the next few days while "father" is in the hospital.

Nothing new there.

I know now that I've told Naruto and Sasuke-kun that I cut I should try to stop, but I just can't. I'm putting senbon and a kunai in my bag. Just in case. I hope they'll forgive me. I'm just not perfect. Is that okay?

* * *

><p>Dear Diary,<p>

Another voice started talking to me. I could deal with Inner Sakura, but I can't take it. He was mocking me. He said I'd never be good enough for Sasuke-kun, that I'm deranged, and who could love a cutter like me?

The worst part was that it was true. I know it's true, and so do you.

I cut just now. My wrist is still throbbing, but it's bandaged. Sasuke-kun found me on the bathroom floor after I'd finished. He said he'd save me. Personally, I don't think its possible, but the offer was sweet, don't you think?

If this keeps up, I'm probably going to end up as dead as my father wants me to be. No one can save me, as far as I know

* * *

><p>Dear Diary,<p>

The voices are back to the full extent. While I was talking to Itachi-san, it said I was crazy. I don't know what to do anymore. Maybe I should just listen to them. I need to stop fighting, and just listen. I'm going to kill myself. That's what would be best, right?

* * *

><p>Dear Diary,<p>

Sasuke-kun said he loved me.

Of course he's lying, but i can't help smiling.

Unfortunatly, I'm going to have to stop writing to you now. I'm starting therapy with Tsunade-shishou, and she can never know about this. I promise I'll get better.

I need to be strong, right?

Sincerely,  
>Sakura Haruno<p>

* * *

><p>AUTHOR'S NOTES:<p>

1)If you've read the end to my story Iridescent, you'll know that Sakura kept a journal during the story. Well, I wrote out her journal. :D It goes up until chapter 9 of Iridescent.

2)Review? :3

3)I love you guys. You make my world go round.


	2. Chapter 2

_I want to paint a picture._

_A picture with a twist._

_I'll paint it with a razor blade._

_I'll paint it on my wrist._

* * *

><p>Dear Diary,<p>

I'm supposed to express my emotions, right? Well, thats bullshit. Nobody wants to hear my emotions. They want to hear progress. People want to hear how I'm doing better, how the voices are going away, and that the medicine Tsunade perscribed is working. Bull. Shit.

No one wants to hear the truth anymore. We all want these pretty little truths that everyone conforms too, but guess what? I'm different.

Sasuke isn't the only reason I'm denying treatment, Mrs. Therapist. If I really wanted to, I could last without him. The thing is though, you're going to read this, and maybe if you care about me, even just a little, you'll be sad. I don't want to take out my anger on other people. I'm not angry at other people. I just want them to understand. Your eyes aren't caring, Mrs. Therapist. Stop trying to understand why I'm not like you. You kind of suck at it.

I'm going to get better by myself. I don't need your help, and I don't want it. Thats why I denied treatment.

Naruto never should've told, but I guess I kind of set myself up for that, didn't I?

* * *

><p>Dear Diary,<p>

Sasuke-kun and I are officialy dating. Maybe he did mean it when he said he loved me. Who knows? I could be happy, right?

I'm just like everyone else. I need to stop thinking that happiness is impossible. I don't need to be with him for it to be possible, but I'm getting better. Maybe I was wrong, Mrs. Therapist. Maybe I do need at least a little help.

I know this life will be a struggle for me. Sai still takes away my confidence from time to time, but Sasuke brings it back to me.

I love him.

Sincerely,  
>Sakura Haruno<p>

* * *

><p>AUTHOR'S NOTES:<p>

1)I'm finished. Fo'cereal, this time.

2)Please review? :c

3)Goodnight, children. :D


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